Chuck Norris facts!!!!!

[THE Spaniard]

I just read a repply from hakksaww doing a chuck norris joke, so I thought That I could start a new topic on chuck norris!!!!


Here, there are a couple of jokes just top get it started:

...Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song...

...Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird...

[THE Spaniard]

...Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks...

[hakksaww]

Glorious (if woefully old) thread. Bravo, sir.

When Chuck Norris was born, he smacked the doctor.

[Elite_Prophet]

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the Earth down

[TE | Hypo]

in January of 2006 Chuck Norris was more popular than boobies.

http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/imageschuck-20norris-20vs-20boobs.jpg

[hakksaww]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

[wonder.]

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, only another fist.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/how-tough-is-chuck-norris/1420138087?icid=acvsv4

[hakksaww]

When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he does't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris'd.

[doublejz]

This should entertain everyone for a while.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[TE | Hypo]

[byrnie]

If Chuck Norris is ever late, time better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer.

Chuck Norris screws guys in the ass, not because he is gay but simply because he has run out of women.

They are no longer the Virgin Islands now that Chuck Norris has been there, they are now the Islands.

Chuck Norris orders a whopper at McDonalds and gets it everytime.

[TE | Hypo]

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

[THE Spaniard]

Doublejz, just a thought...I think the threat would be much more fun if instead of copy paste 30 jokes, we just do one or two per comment.
 
 i thought it will be fun for the forum to have this, here its a good one....

...As a teen, Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a covet in the back hills of Tunsca, nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional history...
 
I love that one!!!

 

[THE Spaniard]

And this one:

...The universe was created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a star in the face for being too bright...

[THE Spaniard]

...Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it...

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