The Elders' House of Pain
Public Forum => SPAM Central => Topic started by: THE Spaniard on June 12, 2008, 08:32:26 AM
-
I just read a repply from hakksaww doing a chuck norris joke, so I thought That I could start a new topic on chuck norris!!!!
Here, there are a couple of jokes just top get it started:
...Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song...
...Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird...
-
...Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks...
-
Glorious (if woefully old) thread. Bravo, sir.
When Chuck Norris was born, he smacked the doctor.
-
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the Earth down
-
in January of 2006 Chuck Norris was more popular than boobies.
http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/imageschuck-20norris-20vs-20boobs.jpg
(http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/imageschuck-20norris-20vs-20boobs.jpg)
-
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, only another fist.
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/how-tough-is-chuck-norris/1420138087?icid=acvsv4
-
When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he does't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris'd.
-
This should entertain everyone for a while.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
-
(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h293/thenamesjimjones/Chuck-Norris.jpg)
-
If Chuck Norris is ever late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer.
Chuck Norris screws guys in the ass, not because he is gay but simply because he has run out of women.
They are no longer the Virgin Islands now that Chuck Norris has been there, they are now the Islands.
Chuck Norris orders a whopper at McDonalds and gets it everytime.
-
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
-
Doublejz, just a thought...I think the threat would be much more fun if instead of copy paste 30 jokes, we just do one or two per comment.
i thought it will be fun for the forum to have this, here its a good one....
...As a teen, Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a covet in the back hills of Tunsca, nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional history...
I love that one!!!
-
And this one:
...The universe was created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a star in the face for being too bright...
-
...Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it...
-
Chuck Norris uses 'her pleasure' condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure
-
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
-
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
That's fucking funny
-
...A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris...
-
...Devil didn't go down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal. Chuck Norris came down to hell and told him to get the fuck out...
-
wow jz, lets not just rip that off: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
need to get alittle original.
This should entertain everyone for a while.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
-
BRUCE LEE KILLED CHUCK NORRIS!! FUCK CHUCK
-
(http://www.toadking.com/6x9=42/Chuck%20Norris%20Action%20Figure.jpg)
-
I had a feeling a thread like this was coming....
-
Chuck Norris once brought a dead puppy back to life.... then he roundhouse kicked it back into death to prove to the world that the Good Chuck giveth and the Good Chuck taketh away.
-
hey crossis, i hope u dont mind we started the threat. I love chuck norris jokes.
...On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking...
...Chuck Norris uses staples as hair gel...
-
http://youtube.com/watch?v=l8k3uGzgZIs
-
nice found widow!!!!
...Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg...
...Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won...
-
Chuck Norris was banging a chick on the hood of a Mustang and some dripped out. The car gave birth 9 months later to Optimus Prime.
True story.
-
in the NHL hall of Fame they have a room just for "The Great One" ... its full of Chuck Norris!
-
tritt you are KILLING ME with your sig file...
it is currently : http://hlstats.theelders.net/siggungame.php?player_id=990
and it should be: http://hlstats.theelders.net/siggungame.php?player_id=204
-
oh yeah, and Chuck Norris got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT one time on TV... but it was all animation.
(http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/norris-paddled.gif)
-
i am so very sorry hypo that im a nub an dont kno how to fix my bad!!! :sunny:
-
i am so very sorry hypo that im a nub an dont kno how to fix my bad!!! :sunny:
you know I love you man
http://hlstats.theelders.net/siggungame.php?player_id=204 is your link...
so go into your sig file setup and change the number thats in there to 204... :) really easy.
-
Get your ass in DOD Hypo! :-D
-
as soon as I fix these damn servers and finish the P to V to VMWare and get the fuck out of this fucking server room!!!
I WILL!!!
actuallly I think I tried and it said something about wrong version... I"ll try as soon as I get home. I want DOD Source right? not old school DOD?