The Elders' House of Pain

Public Forum => SPAM Central => Topic started by: RaGe on November 06, 2007, 03:25:07 PM

Title: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: RaGe on November 06, 2007, 03:25:07 PM
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User…..

___________________ __________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfrie nd 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear”
to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 ! and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: wonder. on November 06, 2007, 03:33:30 PM
HAHA, thats a good one rage.   :crybaby:
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 07:57:00 AM
God Damn Wife v1.0 I knew there was a catch! I am upgrading to the Open Source Version Escort 6.9.
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 10:50:15 AM
Combo (Cumquat) just upgraded to QueerHole v.7.3
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 11:28:47 AM
You douche....Elite go eat a Big Mac
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 11:32:49 AM
HAHA NAH ill leave that up to hamburger sally
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 11:37:20 AM
I bet you can out eat you easy...Combo bets on Sally $1000000000
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 11:38:19 AM
Im confused but what you said, I just saw eat out and giggled
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 11:42:44 AM
Haha CLassis case of ELite wanting to eat out
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 11:51:54 AM
Yeah well yo mother loves what i can do with my tongue, i really just pretend im eating a sandwich
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 11:52:41 AM
Roastbeef mmMmmm
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 11:53:17 AM
Well i go eat out i pretend that him eating spaghetti
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 11:53:57 AM
ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT!
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 11:54:59 AM
NO do here is whatever comes out is ENGLISH YEP
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 12:00:52 PM
That's not even a fucking sentence.
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 12:01:48 PM
Wow i cant spell im glad i already passed Comp 1 haha
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 12:02:00 PM
Yeah im really confused, yoda is even confused by that sentence
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 12:03:15 PM
Too bad you failed elementary school and had you dad pay off all of your teachers, you rich spoiled Billy Madison BITCH!
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 12:03:39 PM
Ummm my fingers are starting to hurt DAmnit
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 12:04:05 PM
haha mine to, damn sausage fingers
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 12:04:42 PM
haha
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 12:07:48 PM
This is why I can please your women better.
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 12:09:26 PM
JOKES ON YOU!!! COmbos women are MEN!
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 12:09:51 PM
No they are little girls...15-16
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: snyper133 on November 07, 2007, 12:10:31 PM
Fuck now I'm going to jail you bastards!
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Combo on November 07, 2007, 12:12:04 PM
Already been not a Big fan
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: Elite_Prophet on November 07, 2007, 12:42:09 PM
thats not what bubba said,
Title: Re: Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0
Post by: wonder. on November 09, 2007, 03:58:24 PM
Combo can't read... Thats why he is going out with the girls in the 3rd  grade.  he hasn't passed it yet.