The Elders' House of Pain

Public Forum => Talk Back => Topic started by: Shmotz on May 15, 2006, 04:51:38 PM

Title: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Shmotz on May 15, 2006, 04:51:38 PM
>This would be a great speech.
>
>  WOULDN'T IT  BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S PRESIDENT,
>DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>
>My Fellow Americans:
>As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
>  Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.
>
>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
>forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
time to begin the reckoning.
>
>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This 1st list is
short.
>The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
countries listed there.
>
>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
>world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.
>
>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war.
>
>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that
note, a word to terrorist organizations. Tangle with us and we will hunt you
down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
>  Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
>China.
>
>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia
for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am
ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>  I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious
>Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops
in the world. I love New York .
>
>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change.
>  Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government
really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tanks and
infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep,
border security So start doing something with your oil.
>  Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
>treaty - starting now.
>
>We are tired of the one-way highway.
>
>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
>
>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you
and we won't forget.
>  To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
>
>God bless America.
>Thank you and good night.
>
>If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
>thank a soldier.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: RaGe on May 15, 2006, 05:05:45 PM
Wow, 90% of the nations thoughts all put in a nice neat little package. Nice work.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Snoop dog dogclan on May 16, 2006, 02:55:20 PM
LOL great thoughts there Shmotz i agree fully fuck all those other twat waffle countries......
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: cole on May 16, 2006, 06:00:33 PM
lvl 1 god's debris
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Shmotz on May 16, 2006, 06:40:52 PM
LOL great thoughts there Shmotz i agree fully fuck all those other twat waffle countries......
how dare you use my name!
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: McGuinness on May 16, 2006, 10:25:28 PM
Snoop_...that makes you a twat waffle...you are Canadian and everything.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Shmotz on May 17, 2006, 05:31:16 AM
i should trademark Twat Waffle....from here on out it will be known as Twat Waffle???
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Snoop dog dogclan on May 17, 2006, 05:51:37 PM
Snoop_...that makes you a twat waffle...you are Canadian and everything.
               Hmmmm i dont know bout that.... First off i'm not a TWAT WAFFLE???
   I'm a bud smoker.... And being from Victoria B.C , i hate being compared to the rest of all Canadians seen as i dont ride moose i shoot them ! I only live here because of the good paying job i have..... :cya:
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: doughty on May 19, 2006, 12:37:23 AM
where's the part about bush's oil investments?
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Belgian rofls on May 19, 2006, 07:46:10 PM
where's the part about bush's oil investments?

HAHA you think Bush would say all that?
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Shmotz on May 20, 2006, 08:03:06 AM
it would not talk about that...hence the reason it says, ANY US PRESIDENT.....ur such a Twat Waffle???
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: doughty on May 22, 2006, 11:46:58 PM
it would not talk about that...hence the reason it says, ANY US PRESIDENT.....ur such a Twat Waffle???

hey man if i were president, I'd talk about it. I'd also write alot of letters to eggo to make sure they get on the twat breakfast boat before it sails.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: McGuinness on May 23, 2006, 08:19:59 AM
Snoop_ I thought that you were from ON?  Like up Ottawa way.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Snoop dog dogclan on May 23, 2006, 07:36:17 PM
Nope born Victoria B.C, grew up in Alberta and when my parents split i moved to Quebec(Where i live now). My mom lives in Ontario outside Niagara falls and i lived there with her for a summer.....But i still go down there   every few   months   .........Details,details,details










































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Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: n0t4g4iN on May 26, 2006, 04:03:20 PM
That was a good read. Thanks
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: wonder. on June 06, 2006, 09:27:32 PM
thanks for the history lesson snoop.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Shmotz on June 07, 2006, 05:34:32 PM
a little delayed on replying huh?
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Giant Flying Head on June 08, 2006, 04:55:23 AM
[rant]I firmly agree that a speech like this would do MORE harm then good. This speech alone would bring about world war III without a dout. Getting pissy at countries that didn't want to "help". You can't tell me that the Iraqi war was nothing more then an excuse for Bush to crush Iraq and capitalize on the benifits of being invested in Saudi Arabia. That's also why troops with NOT be pulling out of Iraq. Bush never wanted to free Iraq, he wanted to control it. A country gripped in war makes less oil.
Oh and BTW, Canada did help indirectly. Why I'm not sure. We did agree to relieve troops in Afganistan. Now we've got troops there getting they're asses killed. I know cause I had a good friend from high school die there.
Next time there's a terrorist attack and all plane flights are canceled for days, we're not opening our doors and letting you sleep in our homes again. In fact I think it would be a good idea to close the hotels for the night too!
It pisses me off that Canada helped America and Americians sleep better that night more then other country and in more then just one way, and Bush didn't even put us on the first list off thanks. Even when he did come up and thank us is was like, "Oh, and thanks Canada".
I think that might have been another good reason for Canada not going to war with Bush.
Also Canada is not a war making country. We're normally there to clean up the mess Americians make after thay have a war with a country. Keeping peace and putting countries back in order. That's what Canada does. Doing all the mucle work. That's was the US is for.
Oh, and a final note: if the US pulled out of NATO, the world would panic. NATO is in organization to keep peace around the world. If the strongest country in the world pulled out of that organization a lot of countries would be on edge and even panic. [/rant]
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: McGuinness on June 08, 2006, 07:49:44 AM
I agree almost 100% with you Giant Flying Head.  I support American troops 100% because they are doing what they are told to do.  I also appreciate the sacrifices that countries like Canada, Britain, Poland, Spain, and others have given to help the FUBAR cause in Iraq.  I supported the war in Afghanistan because the Taliban was directly responsible for sheltering terrorist camps.  However the war in Iraq was a clusterfuck.

Some lyrics from my favorite band Funker Vogt:

We destroy our own future
How could you say you won a war

You never ever could win a war
That's what you have to learn
Here everybody is a loser
You will get nothing in return

Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Giant Flying Head on June 08, 2006, 03:15:00 PM
Next time there's a terrorist attack and all plane flights are canceled for days, we're not opening our doors and letting you sleep in our homes again. In fact I think it would be a good idea to close the hotels for the night too![/rant]
Even though there was no negitive replies, I want to say that I wrote this when I was very pissed off. I've cooled since and the only part of that rant I regret saying is the quoted part. It's not the people that got stranded that are at fault it's Bush. I wish to appoligize for the quoted statement. Thanks.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: LaxMan on June 08, 2006, 04:27:46 PM
 :bs:but i have absolutly no energy to reply besides the little flag man
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Shmotz on June 08, 2006, 04:28:10 PM
ok, ummm you really took that in way too much giant....was just a good speach in certain parts... and guiness....wow....im in the military...you must know i support it...but if you read it correctly...it said the war in iraq is over, so were bringing them back
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Giant Flying Head on June 09, 2006, 04:27:04 AM
I think American Troops should be moved out of Iraq a well. They need to get back to the mess in Afganistan. That way the Canadian troop can move into Iraq and start doing what we're good at, bring peace to a war sacked country.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: LaxMan on June 09, 2006, 09:44:50 AM
oh thats a fucking brilliant idea...bring north americas special ed country in to fix things......ehhh
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: Giant Flying Head on June 10, 2006, 04:30:32 AM
oh thats a fucking brilliant idea...bring north americas special ed country in to fix things......ehhh
Well it's what Canada does. We did all the work to put Bosnia back on it's feet.
Title: Re: MUST READ!!!
Post by: McGuinness on June 12, 2006, 09:53:45 AM
Well in the news it says that they just activated a unit in Germany to go to Iraq for the fourth or fifth time I think.  They haven't been downsizing to my knowledge.